Moving Your Aging Parent

Contributed by Richard Hetzler

My mother lived to be almost 98, and in the course of her aging my brother and sister and I had to move her several times, from her home to facilities that provided increasingly greater levels of assisted living. As we learned through those years, moving a parent can become a very trying experience.

In moving from Arizona to Dallas my mother was fully capable, both physically and mentally. She had much more than would fit in her new apartment, but stood firm that her long sofa must accompany her. We had to arrange for many things to be moved from the house to be auctioned off. Much of the remainder was loaded onto a trailer and donated to charity. It was difficult for her to watch that, but she accepted the decisions.

A move to Chicago was discussed with her, and she accepted it. She was at that point willing to accept our decisions on most of what was to go, and how the move was handled.

The key is to understand and comply with the parent’s desire to control the move. We had developed a great deal of trust and respect prior to the moves, but there were still difficult decisions that needed to be made. You can advise and recommend, but the final decision must be left to the parent.