Senior Care Stories

By Joe Ponepinto

Many of us with senior parents have moved far enough away from our folks that the only time we see them each year is during the holidays. That’s the case with me—we’ll be seeing my mom over Thanksgiving and my wife’s mom during Christmas.

It’s great to get together, of course, but now that our moms are aging, it’s also a good opportunity to assess their mental and physical health. It’s certainly better than trying to do it over the phone and asking questions, since parents may not be completely truthful about health issues in order to keep from becoming a burden to their children.

Obviously I won’t be sitting at the Thanksgiving table, staring at mom. But over the course of our visit, I’ll be checking for indications that she may be having trouble performing functions that weren’t a worry before.

For example, my mom has always been someone who takes regular walks and never has any trouble with stairs, and I’ll want to make sure that is still the case. She wears a hearing aid and lately we’ve had some trouble over the phone, so I’ll be looking to see if there is a bigger problem than she admits when we talk.

If the opportunity arises, and you can sit down with your parent one-on-one, the personal setting may give you a chance to ask about such things as financial or legal issues, to make sure his or her affairs are in good order. If you are visiting at your parent’s home, you might also ask to see such things as bank statements or insurance policies, to make sure they are in order. Ask also about new purchases or agreements they may have entered into—as we’ve noted in previous posts, seniors are often the target of unscrupulous sales pitches. You can also check on medications—how many and whether they’re taken as prescribed.

And if you have a suspicion your aging parent is developing dementia or Alzheimer’s, here are a few signs to look for, courtesy of the Alzheimer’s Association (alz.org).

• Memory loss that disrupts daily life
• Challenges in planning or solving problems
• Difficulty completing familiar tasks
• Confusion with time or place
• Trouble understanding visual images and spatial relationships
• New problems with words in speaking or writing
• Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps
• Decreased or poor judgment
• Withdrawal from work or social activities
• Changes in mood and personality

The holidays are a great time to relax and renew family bonds, but don’t pass up the chance to make sure your aging parent is in as good shape as you think s/he is.