Monthly Archives: December 2009

Coping with the Stress of Senior Home Care

Posted on December 15, 2009 by jpon| Leave a comment

This article was submitted by Linda Dunkelberger, a freelance writer and editor working for Visiting Angels (www.visitingangels.com). Visiting Angels is a nationwide senior home care provider that helps seniors with everyday tasks, errands, meals, transportation, and more.

Caring for aging parents or loved ones carries a lot of responsibility and a range of emotions. No matter how much love you have in your heart, carrying the load of caring for your loved one will leave you drained physically, emotionally and possibly financially. Coping with the stress of senior home care has to be managed or you will not be an effective caregiver.

Managing the stress of senior home care is all about taking charge. Take charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment and the way you deal with problems and unexpected situations. The ultimate goal of coping with the stress of senior home care is to achieve a balanced life.

Suggestions to reduce, prevent, and cope with the stress of senior home care:

Senior home care requires organization: Organize your time and your schedule. Write everything down so that you or another family member has reference to phone numbers, doctors, medications, in-home senior care providers, important insurance and financial numbers.

Start a personal journal: Share your feelings about the stress of senior home care. Writing down your thoughts will help you to take charge of your emotions.

Prioritize your health and well-being. Nurturing yourself is a necessary not a luxury. Healthy ways to relax and recharge:

  • Go for a walk
  • Call a good friend
  • Sweat out the tension with a good workout
  • Write in your journal
  • Curl up with a good book
  • Take a long bath
  • Eat healthy and exercise regularly
  • Play with your pet
  • Work in your garden
  • Listen to music
  • Savor a cup of warm coffee or tea

Give yourself a break: Enlist the help of a professional senior home care provider. These professionals can provide daily or weekly help for everyday chores, errands, hygiene, meals or transportation needs. Some senior home care providers can also provide a respite from your responsibilities with as little as 15-minutes notice.

Coping with the stress of senior home care is the only possible way to be an effective caregiver to your loved ones. Your mental and physical health must take priority or you will not be able to manage what needs to be done.

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Posted in Care Givers, Elder Heath, Emotional Issues, Family Issues, Medical Issues, Outside Resources, Stress

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When Seniors Move in with Relatives or Others

Posted on December 8, 2009 by jpon| 1 Comment

Take Steps Up Front to Prevent Disputes

This article was written by Kate White, Executive Director of Elder Law of Michigan. Although it addresses seniors and their families in Michigan, similar occurrences are taking place throughout the country.

The poor economy in Michigan is forcing many families to consider moving in together to save money and provide care for older adults. According to USA Today, US Census Bureau statistics released in September, 2008 reveal a significant rise in the number of parents who live with adult heads of households. From 2000 to 2007 the number of senior parents living with their adult kids rose from 2.2 to 3.6 million—an increase of 67%.

In some situations, senior parents move in with their adult children, in others the arrangement is reversed. Occasionally seniors share a home with other relatives such as nephews or grandkids. And sometimes seniors move in with other seniors, or even non-related younger persons.

While there is often great benefit in having others live with a senior, especially if the others can act as caregivers, disputes can arise even in the best of circumstances. Here are some things to discuss and place in writing before moving-in day.

  • An emerging practice is to use a paid professional mediator or a community dispute resolution center to discuss expectations and record what is agreed upon before making an arrangement to live together.
  • Discuss the house rules and the expectations of the owner about visitors, noise, standard of cleanliness, use of drugs and alcohol, privacy, use of space, and the use of furniture, cars and other items. Clearly define the acceptable and unacceptable and set a process for discussing new issues.
  • If there is an expectation of service for the privilege of living in someone else’s home, the details of the trade need to be clearly laid out. This can be a very important for preserving the self esteem of the tenant and prevent misunderstandings by all involved.
  • Future claims. Sometimes when another person moves in with a senior, an expectation is created that the tenant will be able to stay in the home forever or that the homeowner will leave the home to the tenant when the owner dies. Avoid this misunderstanding by making it clear that the homeowner retains all ownership of the home. A later wish by the homeowner to give the home to the caregiver can be taken care of at any time.
  • Prevent isolation. Just because an older adult may now have someone in the home, social activities and contact with neighbors, friends and family remain important. Friends and family should regularly check in with the senior.
  • Finances. In addition to deciding and documenting who pays for what, it might be worth considering having someone outside the household provide money management or bill payment services if the senior needs help with those tasks. If the caregiver is chosen to handle the homeowner’s financial affairs, having a second set of eyes reviewing the bank records, checking accounts and expenses might be advisable.

While sharing a home can be a comforting solution for seniors, living with another person requires planning and preparation. For help with such planning, consider contacting the community mediation center nearest you. Call 800-8RESOLVE.

Persons in Michigan can call the Legal Hotline at (800) 347-5297, Monday through Thursday, 9-5 and set an appointment to have a lawyer call them back, usually the same day.

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Posted in Care Givers, Elder Heath, Emotional Issues, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Moving Your Parent(s), Safety

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Take a Hike to Control Diabetes

Posted on December 6, 2009 by jpon| 4 Comments

Submitted by Robert Hoffman

I am a future senior with something in common with many seniors today: I have diabetes. This is a tale of three diabetics: my stepfather JJ, myself, and my son’s father-in-law. This is also a tale of two morals: listen to what the medication says to the body, and take a hike.

Six years ago I found JJ (my stepfather and then 62) crawling on the floor of his recreational vehicle trying to locate the Formica dining top, but he could not. To him, the world was upside down. I was inexperienced with the nature of blood glucose levels and how they affect our behavior. I could only stand and keep the cell phone handy as I watched my mom manage the paces of a sugar crash. I cradled his warm body as he lapped at orange juice until he came around and wondered what was for dinner. JJ had overmedicated.

Six months ago I was diagnosed with diabetes. When the announcement was made, I knew the jig was up. Twenty years of gaining “only three pounds a year” finally caught up with me. The grandson of Depression Era Survivors was not going to starve! Eat everything and then have dessert. Have another burrito. Immediately I dropped processed sugars from my diet, suffered through the days of change and came out trimmer and healthier.  I made five visits to the nutritionalist and eased my way into an active life, walking a mile for my morning coffee and taking the long way home along the riverbed.

Six days ago my daughter-in-law informed me that her father had died, a man she’d only seen three times since she was 8 months old – but the sting still hurt. He was 59, hardly senior material. For twenty years he declined his medication. One evening last week he leaned over his easy chair, expulsed, drooled, and died.

Diabetes can never be reversed. In addition to a proper level of medication, it’s also important for the diabetic—of any age—to have a monitored regimen of activity.

The benefits of physical mobility and movement are well documented for seniors, up to and including building muscle mass (using barbells and weights). Proper weight, healthy diet and a greater sex life all have their roots from the 45-minute cardio walk. But the diabetic gets an extra benefit: exercise is invisible insulin. Along with protein, fiber, and water, exercise helps keep blood sugar levels – well – level. And it does it at an alarmingly fast rate.

Get the senior walking and he or she will be more inclined to pay attention to other factors such as medication and dieting. The body knows what it needs. Walking exercises the the limbs, the joints, visual coordination, the heart, and the soul.

JJ learned to manage his medication, my son’s father-in-law would not. I’m convinced that JJ’s busy bee ways have limited the amount and severity of his episodes. As for me, I’ve learned how important it is to take a hike!

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Posted in Care Givers, Elder Heath, Medical Issues, Nutrition

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Help Seniors Avoid Scammers and False Advertising

Posted on December 5, 2009 by jpon| 1 Comment

Submitted by Carol Hetzler

The elderly are often targets for scammers looking to con someone out of their savings, and if the person has Alzheimer’s, dementia or another mentally-debilitating situation, they can make disastrous decisions that can severely impact their finances.

My mother, in a lonely state of mind after dad had Alzheimer’s, started playing the lottery through the mail.  At one point she received a phone call from Canada, claiming that she had won the lottery, but had to send $5,000.00 before the prize could be awarded.  She wrote a check to a person in a foreign country.  When I realized what she had done, I had the bank issue a stop-payment.  But my mother went to the bank on another day, withdrew funds from her account and had a cashier’s check issued to the same individual.  Once I discovered this, I had a police report filed, but the funds were lost and no fraud conviction was ever possible.

Another time, my mother received a check for $12,000, with a note indicating that she had won the lottery.  She took the check to the bank, and deposited it into her account.  Her elation ended the following day when the bank called to inform her that the check was not valid, so her account would be debited.  We obtained the check, and discovered it was merely an advertising gimmick, with small print along the edge saying, “Facsimile only.”  This print was far too small for someone who was 80 to read, and even I had difficulty reading it, as did the bank teller.

Scammers and false advertising are like diseases affecting the elderly—they can be just as dangerous financially as cancer is medically. Children and caregivers should take an active role in managing their aging parents’ finances, to make sure they are not taken advantage of.

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Posted in Care Givers, Emotional Issues, Family Issues, Financial Issues, Safety

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When Your Parent Travels During the Holidays (Or Anytime)

Posted on December 1, 2009 by jpon| Leave a comment

Many people will be traveling this holiday season to see parents who live in other cities or states. But in some cases, it is the parent who will do the traveling, sometimes alone. Even for seniors who are in good health, traveling can be extremely difficult, as the confusion and crowding found in many large airports, train stations and other transportation centers is enough to stress out anyone, not just seniors.

As an example, my mother, who turned 80 this past year, flew from Florida to Chicago to be with my sister and her family for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, due to work schedules, no one in the family was available to pick her up when the flight landed. This posed a problem, since we didn’t want to have my mother waiting several hours at the airport, where she would be a potential target for criminals and other undesirables.

My sister arranged for a taxi service to transport Mom from O’Hare to their home. The trip was pre-paid, tip included, and all Mom needed to do when she arrived was call the company’s number to send for a driver, who arrived in about ten minutes. This was good, but next time we’ll opt for a limo service, where the driver meets the passenger as soon as s/he reaches the baggage area. Limo drivers not only have those little signs with the passenger’s name to identify themselves, they also carry the passenger’s bags. Many limo and taxi services have web sites where you can book the trip in advance.

Of course, limos are more expensive, and not everyone can afford that level of service. In that case, there are some measures adult children can take to help ensure their parent’s safe transport.

  • Provide your parent with details about the airport/station s/he will be arriving at, such as: how to get from the gate to the baggage area; what landmarks or signs can be found along the way; how to negotiate the airport shuttle system if necessary. Much of this information should be available on the airport/station web site.
  • Airlines can often be helpful in assisting and directing seniors through an airport. A call to the airline’s customer service can arrange for someone to assist your parent from the check in to the gate, or vice-versa. Your parent can also ask for help at the ticket counter, or when s/he arrives to get from the gate to the baggage area.
  • Although my Mom has no difficulty walking, she often asks for a ride on an electric cart because the trip to or from the gates can be crowded and confusing. Seniors should not feel embarrassed about asking for help, even if they are physically able to make the trip.
  • If you can’t pick your parent up, arrange for transportation ahead of time, even if it is just a friend with a car. Make sure your parent has all the details s/he needs to reach and recognize the transportation provider.

Senior Care Stories is interested in hearing about your parents’ experiences while traveling, especially if you have any helpful tips on how to make traveling alone less dangerous and stressful. Please leave your comments by clicking on the link under the title of this post.

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Posted in Care Givers, Emotional Issues, Family Issues, Safety, Travel

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