Lately a friend’s mother, who suffers from Alzheimer’s, has developed an interesting and sometimes embarrassing trait that is far more common than most people may realize. She curses, usually without warning or provocation, and in a public setting it can be very difficult to deal with—when Mom lets loose like a sailor every head within earshot turns to see who said it.
There really isn’t much a caregiver can do to stop this trait of Alzheimer’s. It is a recognized symptom of the disease, and like most aspects is basically incurable. But there are ways to cope. As my friend discovered, responding with an alternate phrase may be enough to make the change stick. Her mother would call out in public, “My God! My God!” Each time she did, my friend responded with, “My goodness. My goodness.” Eventually Mom started saying, “My goodness” instead. But this only worked for a while, since at home the rest of the family didn’t reinforce the change.
Another coping device that might limit the shock and embarrassment of such outbursts is to be prepared when they occur. Compile a list of similar-sounding words and keep them in mind when the Alzheimer’s sufferer is in a public setting. When a choice four-letter word is delivered, quickly respond with its sound-alike. Duck? I don’t see a duck, Mom. Silly, but that’s the idea—try to turn it into a little bit of humor. Most people around you will probably understand what’s going on right away.
Just remember that cursing, unfortunately, is a typical symptom of Alzheimer’s. If you don’t let it become an embarrassment, it won’t seem as shocking.
Good story! Thanks for sharing it. Although my 95 year old Mom hasn’t started swearing like a sailor (at least yet!), I know she’s a lot more honest about her likes and dislikes than she used to be and can often put me in uncomfortable positions as a result.
As far as the swearing goes, as the story indicates, it’s probably a new behavioral pattern that there might not be too many things you can do about, other than learn to manage it, like trying some of these suggestions. However, be sure to talk to your doctor and see if there are any medications that can be given to help the situation, or that can be removed because they may be making the matter worse. For example, when I googled “Alzheimer’s and swearing,” I saw an article that indicated that drugs like Xanax, which may be given to calm a person when they are agitated can actually exhaserbate
the swearing, so the doctor might make a change in that prescription. Also, it indicated to be sure that the person is well-rested when they go out, to help lessen the cursing incidents. I’m sure they can put the caregiver in very uncomfortable position when out in public!
Good story. Thanks for sharing it!
I googled “Alzheimer’s & Swearing,” and came across a web site called caring.com. An article on the site indicated that the disease was sadly robbing your friend’s Mom from inhibiting her own behavior, so she says whatever comes to mind. The article’s author, an advance practice nurse in the department of neurology at the University of Iowa offered a few suggestions to minimize the swearing.
1) Some meds such as Xanax or Ativan can make the tendency worse, so the doctor might consider making a change.
2) Be sure she is well rested before going out or involved in an activity that might be overwhelming.
3) Keep outings or special occasions short – 90 minutes max.
I hope there is someone who can offer more suggestions with this troublesome issue.