By Joe Ponepinto
Many seniors who are healthy enough to stay in their homes, rather than move to a care facility or move in with relatives, prefer to remain in an environment that they know and feel comfortable in. But often these seniors need a little help around the house, whether it’s cleaning, doing laundry, or personal care like bathing. If children can’t provide it, then hiring a service or agency may be an option.
Before you or your parent enters into such an arrangement, there are a few steps to consider to make sure the safety of the senior is not at stake. Here are a few tips for hiring in-home help for seniors. These come from the California Bar Foundation.
- Before talking to representatives of in-home services, assess the senior’s needs to determine the level of service needed. Decide how much you can afford. Then, when you do talk with agency reps, you won’t be as easily persuaded to pay for services that are not needed.
- Seek referrals. If you don’t know anyone who can provide them, visit the local Area Agency on Aging web site.
- Find out if Medicare covers any of the cost.
- Ask many questions. Ask about the agency’s screening and training for caregivers. Do they conduct background checks? Is the agency bonded? Also determine whether the agency is responsible for caregiver taxes and insurance.
- If you or your parent is responsible for taxes (usually if you hire someone independent of an agency), visit your state’s official web site to determine what they are.
- Once a person or company is hired, take precautions in the home to safeguard valuables and important documents. Move them to another location or lock them up. Make sure things like Social Security numbers and bank account information are locked up too.
Categories: Care Givers · Elder Heath · Family Issues · Financial Issues · Insurance · Outside Resources
Tagged: aging parent, assisted living, general, home care, senior care, senior health, senior life, seniors
Submitted by Linda Dunkelberger
Caring for aging parents or loved ones carries a lot of responsibility and a range of emotions. No matter how much love you have in your heart, carrying the load of caring for your loved one will leave you drained physically, emotionally and possibly financially. Coping with the stress of senior home care has to be managed or you will not be an effective caregiver.
Managing the stress of senior home care is all about taking charge. Take charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment and the way you deal with problems and unexpected situations. The ultimate goal of coping with the stress of senior home care is to achieve a balanced life.
Suggestions to reduce, prevent, and cope with the stress of senior home care:
Senior home care requires organization: Organize your time and your schedule. Write everything down so that you or another family member has reference to phone numbers, doctors, medications, in-home senior care providers, important insurance and financial numbers.
Start a personal journal: Share your feelings about the stress of senior home care. Writing down your thoughts will help you to take charge of your emotions.
Prioritize your health and well-being. Nurturing yourself is a necessary not a luxury. Healthy ways to relax and recharge:
- Go for a walk
- Call a good friend
- Sweat out the tension with a good workout
- Write in your journal
- Curl up with a good book
- Take a long bath
- Eat healthy and exercise regularly
- Play with your pet
- Work in your garden
- Listen to music
- Savor a cup of warm coffee or tea
Give yourself a break: Enlist the help of a professional senior home care provider. These professionals can provide daily or weekly help for everyday chores, errands, hygiene, meals or transportation needs. Some senior home care providers can also provide a respite from your responsibilities with as little as 15-minutes notice.
Coping with the stress of senior home care is the only possible way to be an effective caregiver to your loved ones. Your mental and physical health must take priority or you will not be able to manage what needs to be done.
This article was submitted by Linda Dunkelberger, a freelance writer and editor working for Visiting Angels (www.visitingangels.com).Visiting Angles is a nationwide senior home care provider that helps seniors with everyday tasks, errands, meals, transportation, and more.
Categories: Care Givers · Elder Heath · Emotional Issues · Family Issues · Financial Issues · General Information · Medical Issues · Stress
Tagged: aging parent, assisted living, general, home care, mental health, senior care, senior health, seniors, Stress
January 16, 2010 · 1 Comment
Submitted by Richard Hetzler
There comes a time, if people live long enough, that hospital admission should be avoided. My mother struggled to maintain her independence into her 90s, tolerating walkers and assisted living only when necessary. Once her life was reduced to a wheelchair and skilled nursing care, she did not consider her life worth living.
While my mother was in assisted living, she appeared happy and mentally alert. After a family reunion for Thanksgiving, she developed a urinary tract infection that sent her to the hospital. She was there for two weeks, then released to a skilled nursing facility, with the goal of returning to her assisted living apartment.
The two-week stay in the hospital took more out of my mother than she could recover from. The time with no mobility exaggerated her arthritic condition to the point where walking again was impossible, even with assistance from a physical therapist. She returned to the hospital twice more with urinary tract infections, but never recovered the strength that she had prior to those admissions either. I now believe that the repeated hospital stays caused her to lose her ability to walk, and eventually the desire to live.
It was only through hospice care that we were able to stop the hospital admissions, which were counterproductive in her case. I would strongly recommend that anyone in a similar situation utilize hospice care to avoid hospital admissions for elderly relatives.
Categories: Care Givers · Elder Heath · Emotional Issues · Family Issues · Hospitals · Medical Issues · Moving Your Parent(s)
Tagged: aging parent, assisted living, doctor, home care, hospital, medicine, move, moving, senior care, senior health, seniors
Lately a friend’s mother, who suffers from Alzheimer’s, has developed an interesting and sometimes embarrassing trait that is far more common than most people may realize. She curses, usually without warning or provocation, and in a public setting it can be very difficult to deal with—when Mom lets loose like a sailor every head within earshot turns to see who said it.
There really isn’t much a caregiver can do to stop this trait of Alzheimer’s. It is a recognized symptom of the disease, and like most aspects is basically incurable. But there are ways to cope. As my friend discovered, responding with an alternate phrase may be enough to make the change stick. Her mother would call out in public, “My God! My God!” Each time she did, my friend responded with, “My goodness. My goodness.” Eventually Mom started saying, “My goodness” instead. But this only worked for a while, since at home the rest of the family didn’t reinforce the change.
Another coping device that might limit the shock and embarrassment of such outbursts is to be prepared when they occur. Compile a list of similar-sounding words and keep them in mind when the Alzheimer’s sufferer is in a public setting. When a choice four-letter word is delivered, quickly respond with its sound-alike. Duck? I don’t see a duck, Mom. Silly, but that’s the idea—try to turn it into a little bit of humor. Most people around you will probably understand what’s going on right away.
Just remember that cursing, unfortunately, is a typical symptom of Alzheimer’s. If you don’t let it become an embarrassment, it won’t seem as shocking.
Categories: Alzheimer's · Care Givers · Elder Heath · Emotional Issues · Family Issues · General Information · Humorous Incidents
Tagged: aging parent, Cursing, dementia, mental health, senior care, senior health, senior life, seniors
Submitted by Richard Hetzler
A Medical Power of Attorney gives one individual the ability to make medical decisions for another person when they become unable to do so. This is an extremely important document to have as a parent ages, since her ability to make decisions for herself about complex medical matters may change quickly.
When my mother moved from Dallas to Chicago she had both a Living Will and a Medical Power of Attorney, issued in Texas. These documents must be in the format of the state in which the parent lives to be accepted. My attorney advised that I should not have both documents, due to the possibility they would conflict. A Living Will can be interpreted by any family member, and they will rarely agree to a single decision. In Illinois the Medical Power of Attorney has a section similar to the Living Will, and it assigns the decision to one person.
In the case of my mother, she was mentally competent prior to being sent to the hospital one Sunday morning. But due to her visual limitations, she would not sign documents without one of her sons present. Since I had the Medical Power of Attorney, it was possible for me to admit her to the rehab facility following her hospital stay. It was also possible for me to begin hospice care when it became practical.
I have heard many horror stories from people who delayed too long obtaining this document. The best advice is to find out how your parent’s state of residence treats this document and to talk about it with your parent before it actually needed.
Categories: Elder Heath · Emotional Issues · Family Issues · Financial Issues · Legal Issues
Tagged: advocate, aging parent, doctor, Legal Issues, medicine, senior care, senior health, seniors
This article was submitted by Linda Dunkelberger, a freelance writer and editor working for Visiting Angels (www.visitingangels.com). Visiting Angels is a nationwide senior home care provider that helps seniors with everyday tasks, errands, meals, transportation, and more.
Caring for aging parents or loved ones carries a lot of responsibility and a range of emotions. No matter how much love you have in your heart, carrying the load of caring for your loved one will leave you drained physically, emotionally and possibly financially. Coping with the stress of senior home care has to be managed or you will not be an effective caregiver.
Managing the stress of senior home care is all about taking charge. Take charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment and the way you deal with problems and unexpected situations. The ultimate goal of coping with the stress of senior home care is to achieve a balanced life.
Suggestions to reduce, prevent, and cope with the stress of senior home care:
Senior home care requires organization: Organize your time and your schedule. Write everything down so that you or another family member has reference to phone numbers, doctors, medications, in-home senior care providers, important insurance and financial numbers.
Start a personal journal: Share your feelings about the stress of senior home care. Writing down your thoughts will help you to take charge of your emotions.
Prioritize your health and well-being. Nurturing yourself is a necessary not a luxury. Healthy ways to relax and recharge:
- Go for a walk
- Call a good friend
- Sweat out the tension with a good workout
- Write in your journal
- Curl up with a good book
- Take a long bath
- Eat healthy and exercise regularly
- Play with your pet
- Work in your garden
- Listen to music
- Savor a cup of warm coffee or tea
Give yourself a break: Enlist the help of a professional senior home care provider. These professionals can provide daily or weekly help for everyday chores, errands, hygiene, meals or transportation needs. Some senior home care providers can also provide a respite from your responsibilities with as little as 15-minutes notice.
Coping with the stress of senior home care is the only possible way to be an effective caregiver to your loved ones. Your mental and physical health must take priority or you will not be able to manage what needs to be done.
Categories: Care Givers · Elder Heath · Emotional Issues · Family Issues · Medical Issues · Outside Resources · Stress
Tagged: aging parent, mental health, senior care, senior health, senior life, seniors, Stress
December 8, 2009 · 1 Comment
Take Steps Up Front to Prevent Disputes
This article was written by Kate White, Executive Director of Elder Law of Michigan. Although it addresses seniors and their families in Michigan, similar occurrences are taking place throughout the country.
The poor economy in Michigan is forcing many families to consider moving in together to save money and provide care for older adults. According to USA Today, US Census Bureau statistics released in September, 2008 reveal a significant rise in the number of parents who live with adult heads of households. From 2000 to 2007 the number of senior parents living with their adult kids rose from 2.2 to 3.6 million—an increase of 67%.
In some situations, senior parents move in with their adult children, in others the arrangement is reversed. Occasionally seniors share a home with other relatives such as nephews or grandkids. And sometimes seniors move in with other seniors, or even non-related younger persons.
While there is often great benefit in having others live with a senior, especially if the others can act as caregivers, disputes can arise even in the best of circumstances. Here are some things to discuss and place in writing before moving-in day.
- An emerging practice is to use a paid professional mediator or a community dispute resolution center to discuss expectations and record what is agreed upon before making an arrangement to live together.
- Discuss the house rules and the expectations of the owner about visitors, noise, standard of cleanliness, use of drugs and alcohol, privacy, use of space, and the use of furniture, cars and other items. Clearly define the acceptable and unacceptable and set a process for discussing new issues.
- If there is an expectation of service for the privilege of living in someone else’s home, the details of the trade need to be clearly laid out. This can be a very important for preserving the self esteem of the tenant and prevent misunderstandings by all involved.
- Future claims. Sometimes when another person moves in with a senior, an expectation is created that the tenant will be able to stay in the home forever or that the homeowner will leave the home to the tenant when the owner dies. Avoid this misunderstanding by making it clear that the homeowner retains all ownership of the home. A later wish by the homeowner to give the home to the caregiver can be taken care of at any time.
- Prevent isolation. Just because an older adult may now have someone in the home, social activities and contact with neighbors, friends and family remain important. Friends and family should regularly check in with the senior.
- Finances. In addition to deciding and documenting who pays for what, it might be worth considering having someone outside the household provide money management or bill payment services if the senior needs help with those tasks. If the caregiver is chosen to handle the homeowner’s financial affairs, having a second set of eyes reviewing the bank records, checking accounts and expenses might be advisable.
While sharing a home can be a comforting solution for seniors, living with another person requires planning and preparation. For help with such planning, consider contacting the community mediation center nearest you. Call 800-8RESOLVE.
Persons in Michigan can call the Legal Hotline at (800) 347-5297, Monday through Thursday, 9-5 and set an appointment to have a lawyer call them back, usually the same day.
Categories: Care Givers · Elder Heath · Emotional Issues · Family Issues · Financial Issues · Moving Your Parent(s) · Safety
Tagged: advocate, aging parent, home care, Legal Issues, move, moving, senior life, seniors
Submitted by Robert Hoffman
I am a future senior with something in common with many seniors today: I have diabetes. This is a tale of three diabetics: my stepfather JJ, myself, and my son’s father-in-law. This is also a tale of two morals: listen to what the medication says to the body, and take a hike.
Six years ago I found JJ (my stepfather and then 62) crawling on the floor of his recreational vehicle trying to locate the Formica dining top, but he could not. To him, the world was upside down. I was inexperienced with the nature of blood glucose levels and how they affect our behavior. I could only stand and keep the cell phone handy as I watched my mom manage the paces of a sugar crash. I cradled his warm body as he lapped at orange juice until he came around and wondered what was for dinner. JJ had overmedicated.
Six months ago I was diagnosed with diabetes. When the announcement was made, I knew the jig was up. Twenty years of gaining “only three pounds a year” finally caught up with me. The grandson of Depression Era Survivors was not going to starve! Eat everything and then have dessert. Have another burrito. Immediately I dropped processed sugars from my diet, suffered through the days of change and came out trimmer and healthier. I made five visits to the nutritionalist and eased my way into an active life, walking a mile for my morning coffee and taking the long way home along the riverbed.
Six days ago my daughter-in-law informed me that her father had died, a man she’d only seen three times since she was 8 months old – but the sting still hurt. He was 59, hardly senior material. For twenty years he declined his medication. One evening last week he leaned over his easy chair, expulsed, drooled, and died.
Diabetes can never be reversed. In addition to a proper level of medication, it’s also important for the diabetic—of any age—to have a monitored regimen of activity.
The benefits of physical mobility and movement are well documented for seniors, up to and including building muscle mass (using barbells and weights). Proper weight, healthy diet and a greater sex life all have their roots from the 45-minute cardio walk. But the diabetic gets an extra benefit: exercise is invisible insulin. Along with protein, fiber, and water, exercise helps keep blood sugar levels – well – level. And it does it at an alarmingly fast rate.
Get the senior walking and he or she will be more inclined to pay attention to other factors such as medication and dieting. The body knows what it needs. Walking exercises the the limbs, the joints, visual coordination, the heart, and the soul.
JJ learned to manage his medication, my son’s father-in-law would not. I’m convinced that JJ’s busy bee ways have limited the amount and severity of his episodes. As for me, I’ve learned how important it is to take a hike!
Categories: Care Givers · Elder Heath · Medical Issues · Nutrition
Tagged: doctor, hospital, medicine, senior health, senior life, seniors
December 5, 2009 · 1 Comment
Submitted by Carol Hetzler
The elderly are often targets for scammers looking to con someone out of their savings, and if the person has Alzheimer’s, dementia or another mentally-debilitating situation, they can make disastrous decisions that can severely impact their finances.
My mother, in a lonely state of mind after dad had Alzheimer’s, started playing the lottery through the mail. At one point she received a phone call from Canada, claiming that she had won the lottery, but had to send $5,000.00 before the prize could be awarded. She wrote a check to a person in a foreign country. When I realized what she had done, I had the bank issue a stop-payment. But my mother went to the bank on another day, withdrew funds from her account and had a cashier’s check issued to the same individual. Once I discovered this, I had a police report filed, but the funds were lost and no fraud conviction was ever possible.
Another time, my mother received a check for $12,000, with a note indicating that she had won the lottery. She took the check to the bank, and deposited it into her account. Her elation ended the following day when the bank called to inform her that the check was not valid, so her account would be debited. We obtained the check, and discovered it was merely an advertising gimmick, with small print along the edge saying, “Facsimile only.” This print was far too small for someone who was 80 to read, and even I had difficulty reading it, as did the bank teller.
Scammers and false advertising are like diseases affecting the elderly—they can be just as dangerous financially as cancer is medically. Children and caregivers should take an active role in managing their aging parents’ finances, to make sure they are not taken advantage of.
Categories: Care Givers · Emotional Issues · Family Issues · Financial Issues · Safety
Tagged: aging parent, finances, senior care, senior life, seniors, subscriptions
Many people will be traveling this holiday season to see parents who live in other cities or states. But in some cases, it is the parent who will do the traveling, sometimes alone. Even for seniors who are in good health, traveling can be extremely difficult, as the confusion and crowding found in many large airports, train stations and other transportation centers is enough to stress out anyone, not just seniors.
As an example, my mother, who turned 80 this past year, flew from Florida to Chicago to be with my sister and her family for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, due to work schedules, no one in the family was available to pick her up when the flight landed. This posed a problem, since we didn’t want to have my mother waiting several hours at the airport, where she would be a potential target for criminals and other undesirables.
My sister arranged for a taxi service to transport Mom from O’Hare to their home. The trip was pre-paid, tip included, and all Mom needed to do when she arrived was call the company’s number to send for a driver, who arrived in about ten minutes. This was good, but next time we’ll opt for a limo service, where the driver meets the passenger as soon as s/he reaches the baggage area. Limo drivers not only have those little signs with the passenger’s name to identify themselves, they also carry the passenger’s bags. Many limo and taxi services have web sites where you can book the trip in advance.
Of course, limos are more expensive, and not everyone can afford that level of service. In that case, there are some measures adult children can take to help ensure their parent’s safe transport.
- Provide your parent with details about the airport/station s/he will be arriving at, such as: how to get from the gate to the baggage area; what landmarks or signs can be found along the way; how to negotiate the airport shuttle system if necessary. Much of this information should be available on the airport/station web site.
- Airlines can often be helpful in assisting and directing seniors through an airport. A call to the airline’s customer service can arrange for someone to assist your parent from the check in to the gate, or vice-versa. Your parent can also ask for help at the ticket counter, or when s/he arrives to get from the gate to the baggage area.
- Although my Mom has no difficulty walking, she often asks for a ride on an electric cart because the trip to or from the gates can be crowded and confusing. Seniors should not feel embarrassed about asking for help, even if they are physically able to make the trip.
- If you can’t pick your parent up, arrange for transportation ahead of time, even if it is just a friend with a car. Make sure your parent has all the details s/he needs to reach and recognize the transportation provider.
Senior Care Stories is interested in hearing about your parents’ experiences while traveling, especially if you have any helpful tips on how to make traveling alone less dangerous and stressful. Please leave your comments by clicking on the link under the title of this post.
Categories: Care Givers · Emotional Issues · Family Issues · Safety · Travel
Tagged: aging parent, airlines, airport, Independence, senior health, senior life, seniors, transportation, Travel
jpon
lisacochrane
jstarkweather