Category Archives: Elder Heath

Finding The Right Doctor

by Judy Starkweather

When my Mom moved to Atlanta, I needed to find a new doctor for her.  I received a recommendation from someone at the Assisted Living Facility where she would be residing and made an appointment. After each visit, however, I had to make additional appointments with specialists, which meant carting my 91 year old Mom from one to another. It was tough since I was working full time. My mother wasn’t very helpful. She was always saying “Why are you taking me to another doctor? I’m sick of doctors!”

I learned that the Assisted Living Facility had a doctor who did “house calls” at the facility every Thursday. It sounded convenient, but the doctor always arrived at different times, so I seldom got a chance to connect with him and he eventually stopped coming to the facility all together.

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Tips for Hiring Help for Your Senior Parent

By Joe Ponepinto

Many seniors who are healthy enough to stay in their homes, rather than move to a care facility or move in with relatives, prefer to remain in an environment that they know and feel comfortable in. But often these seniors need a little help around the house, whether it’s cleaning, doing laundry, or personal care like bathing. If children can’t provide it, then hiring a service or agency may be an option.

Before you or your parent enters into such an arrangement, there are a few steps to consider to make sure the safety of the senior is not at stake. Here are a few tips for hiring in-home help for seniors. These come from the California Bar Foundation.

Tips for Reducing the Stress of Senior Home Care

Submitted by Linda Dunkelberger

Caring for aging parents or loved ones carries a lot of responsibility and a range of emotions. No matter how much love you have in your heart, carrying the load of caring for your loved one will leave you drained physically, emotionally and possibly financially. Coping with the stress of senior home care has to be managed or you will not be an effective caregiver.

Managing the stress of senior home care is all about taking charge. Take charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment and the way you deal with problems and unexpected situations. The ultimate goal of coping with the stress of senior home care is to achieve a balanced life.

Suggestions to reduce, prevent, and cope with the stress of senior home care:

Senior home care requires organization: Organize your time and your schedule. Write everything down so that you or another family member has reference to phone numbers, doctors, medications, in-home senior care providers, important insurance and financial numbers.

Start a personal journal: Share your feelings about the stress of senior home care. Writing down your thoughts will help you to take charge of your emotions.

Prioritize your health and well-being. Nurturing yourself is a necessary not a luxury. Healthy ways to relax and recharge:

  • Go for a walk
  • Call a good friend
  • Sweat out the tension with a good workout
  • Write in your journal
  • Curl up with a good book
  • Take a long bath
  • Eat healthy and exercise regularly
  • Play with your pet
  • Work in your garden
  • Listen to music
  • Savor a cup of warm coffee or tea

Give yourself a break: Enlist the help of a professional senior home care provider. These professionals can provide daily or weekly help for everyday chores, errands, hygiene, meals or transportation needs. Some senior home care providers can also provide a respite from your responsibilities with as little as 15-minutes notice.

Coping with the stress of senior home care is the only possible way to be an effective caregiver to your loved ones. Your mental and physical health must take priority or you will not be able to manage what needs to be done.

This article was submitted by Linda Dunkelberger, a freelance writer and editor working for Visiting Angels (www.visitingangels.com).Visiting Angles is a nationwide senior home care provider that helps seniors with everyday tasks, errands, meals, transportation, and more.

Sometimes Hospitals Should Be Avoided

Submitted by Richard Hetzler

There comes a time, if people live long enough, that hospital admission should be avoided. My mother struggled to maintain her independence into her 90s, tolerating walkers and assisted living only when necessary. Once her life was reduced to a wheelchair and skilled nursing care, she did not consider her life worth living.

While my mother was in assisted living, she appeared happy and mentally alert. After a family reunion for Thanksgiving, she developed a urinary tract infection that sent her to the hospital. She was there for two weeks, then released to a skilled nursing facility, with the goal of returning to her assisted living apartment.

The two-week stay in the hospital took more out of my mother than she could recover from. The time with no mobility exaggerated her arthritic condition to the point where walking again was impossible, even with assistance from a physical therapist. She returned to the hospital twice more with urinary tract infections, but never recovered the strength that she had prior to those admissions either. I now believe that the repeated hospital stays caused her to lose her ability to walk, and eventually the desire to live.

It was only through hospice care that we were able to stop the hospital admissions, which were counterproductive in her case. I would strongly recommend that anyone in a similar situation utilize hospice care to avoid hospital admissions for elderly relatives.

Does Your Parent Drink Enough Water?

This story was contributed by a reader who wishes to remain anonymous. It addresses the importance of hydration in our parents’ overall health & safety. 

On several occasions my sister and I noticed that my Mom’s dementia would get worse. We worried that this was the “beginning of the end” of her mental competency. I recall when she started holding a terrible grudge against one of our favorite caregivers at her Assisted Living Home. The caregiver’s name was Jane, but she insisted on calling her Alice! She would relay to me that “Alice” would take showers, try on her clothes and entertain men in her apartment when she went to bed. We tried to convince her that she would never do these things, but she stuck to her story and accused us of being very naïve when we didn’t believe her!

When we took my Mom to her primary care physician, we’d routinely review all that was going on at the time, which often included falls and the worsening dementia. The doctor would check her urine and come back with the report that she had a UTI (urinary tract infection). We learned that the infection was the result of dehydration, which in turn caused her dementia to get worse.  She told us that it could also be a contributing factor to her frequent falls.

We were happy that an antibiotic would clear the infection and therefore her dementia and we had struggled to find ways to minimize her falls, so this was an important discovery.  Her doctor indicated that the juices, sodas, coffee and Ensure my mother liked weren’t anywhere near as good as “plain ole’ water,” for staying hydrated. She suggested we try putting Crystal Lite in it to make it taste better. It took time, but eventually grew to like it and drinks it all the time now. We buy 8oz bottles of water and pour the small packs of lemonade-flavored Crystal Lite into them and shake it up well. She likes to drink it with a straw. We make sure there is always a bottle by her side, but don’t have to remind her to drink it as much as we used to. 

Dehydration can have debilitating consequences in the elderly. Watch for signs like confusion, irritability, low urine output, dry skin, constipation, dizziness, hypotension or infection. They could be indicators of dehydration, which can lead to falls, stroke and renal failure. Better yet, do whatever you can to get your parents into the water habit right now!

What to do About Cursing?

Lately a friend’s mother, who suffers from Alzheimer’s, has developed an interesting and sometimes embarrassing trait that is far more common than most people may realize. She curses, usually without warning or provocation, and in a public setting it can be very difficult to deal with—when Mom lets loose like a sailor every head within earshot turns to see who said it.

There really isn’t much a caregiver can do to stop this trait of Alzheimer’s. It is a recognized symptom of the disease, and like most aspects is basically incurable. But there are ways to cope. As my friend discovered, responding with an alternate phrase may be enough to make the change stick. Her mother would call out in public, “My God! My God!” Each time she did, my friend responded with, “My goodness. My goodness.” Eventually Mom started saying, “My goodness” instead. But this only worked for a while, since at home the rest of the family didn’t reinforce the change.

Another coping device that might limit the shock and embarrassment of such outbursts is to be prepared when they occur. Compile a list of similar-sounding words and keep them in mind when the Alzheimer’s sufferer is in a public setting. When a choice four-letter word is delivered, quickly respond with its sound-alike. Duck? I don’t see a duck, Mom. Silly, but that’s the idea—try to turn it into a little bit of humor. Most people around you will probably understand what’s going on right away.

Just remember that cursing, unfortunately, is a typical symptom of Alzheimer’s. If you don’t let it become an embarrassment, it won’t seem as shocking.

Medical Power of Attorney

Submitted by Richard Hetzler

A Medical Power of Attorney gives one individual the ability to make medical decisions for another person when they become unable to do so. This is an extremely important document to have as a parent ages, since her ability to make decisions for herself about complex medical matters may change quickly.

When my mother moved from Dallas to Chicago she had both a Living Will and a Medical Power of Attorney, issued in Texas.  These documents must be in the format of the state in which the parent lives to be accepted.  My attorney advised that I should not have both documents, due to the possibility they would conflict. A Living Will can be interpreted by any family member, and they will rarely agree to a single decision.  In Illinois the Medical Power of Attorney has a section similar to the Living Will, and it assigns the decision to one person.

In the case of my mother, she was mentally competent prior to being sent to the hospital one Sunday morning.  But due to her visual limitations, she would not sign documents without one of her sons present.  Since I had the Medical Power of Attorney, it was possible for me to admit her to the rehab facility following her hospital stay.  It was also possible for me to begin hospice care when it became practical.

I have heard many horror stories from people who delayed too long obtaining this document. The best advice is to find out how your parent’s state of residence treats this document and to talk about it with your parent before it actually needed.

Coping with the Stress of Senior Home Care

This article was submitted by Linda Dunkelberger, a freelance writer and editor working for Visiting Angels (www.visitingangels.com). Visiting Angels is a nationwide senior home care provider that helps seniors with everyday tasks, errands, meals, transportation, and more.

Caring for aging parents or loved ones carries a lot of responsibility and a range of emotions. No matter how much love you have in your heart, carrying the load of caring for your loved one will leave you drained physically, emotionally and possibly financially. Coping with the stress of senior home care has to be managed or you will not be an effective caregiver.

Managing the stress of senior home care is all about taking charge. Take charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment and the way you deal with problems and unexpected situations. The ultimate goal of coping with the stress of senior home care is to achieve a balanced life.

Suggestions to reduce, prevent, and cope with the stress of senior home care:

Senior home care requires organization: Organize your time and your schedule. Write everything down so that you or another family member has reference to phone numbers, doctors, medications, in-home senior care providers, important insurance and financial numbers.

Start a personal journal: Share your feelings about the stress of senior home care. Writing down your thoughts will help you to take charge of your emotions.

Prioritize your health and well-being. Nurturing yourself is a necessary not a luxury. Healthy ways to relax and recharge:

  • Go for a walk
  • Call a good friend
  • Sweat out the tension with a good workout
  • Write in your journal
  • Curl up with a good book
  • Take a long bath
  • Eat healthy and exercise regularly
  • Play with your pet
  • Work in your garden
  • Listen to music
  • Savor a cup of warm coffee or tea

Give yourself a break: Enlist the help of a professional senior home care provider. These professionals can provide daily or weekly help for everyday chores, errands, hygiene, meals or transportation needs. Some senior home care providers can also provide a respite from your responsibilities with as little as 15-minutes notice.

Coping with the stress of senior home care is the only possible way to be an effective caregiver to your loved ones. Your mental and physical health must take priority or you will not be able to manage what needs to be done.

When Seniors Move in with Relatives or Others

Take Steps Up Front to Prevent Disputes

This article was written by Kate White, Executive Director of Elder Law of Michigan. Although it addresses seniors and their families in Michigan, similar occurrences are taking place throughout the country.

The poor economy in Michigan is forcing many families to consider moving in together to save money and provide care for older adults. According to USA Today, US Census Bureau statistics released in September, 2008 reveal a significant rise in the number of parents who live with adult heads of households. From 2000 to 2007 the number of senior parents living with their adult kids rose from 2.2 to 3.6 million—an increase of 67%.

In some situations, senior parents move in with their adult children, in others the arrangement is reversed. Occasionally seniors share a home with other relatives such as nephews or grandkids. And sometimes seniors move in with other seniors, or even non-related younger persons.

While there is often great benefit in having others live with a senior, especially if the others can act as caregivers, disputes can arise even in the best of circumstances. Here are some things to discuss and place in writing before moving-in day.

  • An emerging practice is to use a paid professional mediator or a community dispute resolution center to discuss expectations and record what is agreed upon before making an arrangement to live together.
  • Discuss the house rules and the expectations of the owner about visitors, noise, standard of cleanliness, use of drugs and alcohol, privacy, use of space, and the use of furniture, cars and other items. Clearly define the acceptable and unacceptable and set a process for discussing new issues.
  • If there is an expectation of service for the privilege of living in someone else’s home, the details of the trade need to be clearly laid out. This can be a very important for preserving the self esteem of the tenant and prevent misunderstandings by all involved.
  • Future claims. Sometimes when another person moves in with a senior, an expectation is created that the tenant will be able to stay in the home forever or that the homeowner will leave the home to the tenant when the owner dies. Avoid this misunderstanding by making it clear that the homeowner retains all ownership of the home. A later wish by the homeowner to give the home to the caregiver can be taken care of at any time.
  • Prevent isolation. Just because an older adult may now have someone in the home, social activities and contact with neighbors, friends and family remain important. Friends and family should regularly check in with the senior.
  • Finances. In addition to deciding and documenting who pays for what, it might be worth considering having someone outside the household provide money management or bill payment services if the senior needs help with those tasks. If the caregiver is chosen to handle the homeowner’s financial affairs, having a second set of eyes reviewing the bank records, checking accounts and expenses might be advisable.

While sharing a home can be a comforting solution for seniors, living with another person requires planning and preparation. For help with such planning, consider contacting the community mediation center nearest you. Call 800-8RESOLVE.

Persons in Michigan can call the Legal Hotline at (800) 347-5297, Monday through Thursday, 9-5 and set an appointment to have a lawyer call them back, usually the same day.

Take a Hike to Control Diabetes

Submitted by Robert Hoffman

I am a future senior with something in common with many seniors today: I have diabetes. This is a tale of three diabetics: my stepfather JJ, myself, and my son’s father-in-law. This is also a tale of two morals: listen to what the medication says to the body, and take a hike.

Six years ago I found JJ (my stepfather and then 62) crawling on the floor of his recreational vehicle trying to locate the Formica dining top, but he could not. To him, the world was upside down. I was inexperienced with the nature of blood glucose levels and how they affect our behavior. I could only stand and keep the cell phone handy as I watched my mom manage the paces of a sugar crash. I cradled his warm body as he lapped at orange juice until he came around and wondered what was for dinner. JJ had overmedicated.

Six months ago I was diagnosed with diabetes. When the announcement was made, I knew the jig was up. Twenty years of gaining “only three pounds a year” finally caught up with me. The grandson of Depression Era Survivors was not going to starve! Eat everything and then have dessert. Have another burrito. Immediately I dropped processed sugars from my diet, suffered through the days of change and came out trimmer and healthier.  I made five visits to the nutritionalist and eased my way into an active life, walking a mile for my morning coffee and taking the long way home along the riverbed.

Six days ago my daughter-in-law informed me that her father had died, a man she’d only seen three times since she was 8 months old – but the sting still hurt. He was 59, hardly senior material. For twenty years he declined his medication. One evening last week he leaned over his easy chair, expulsed, drooled, and died.

Diabetes can never be reversed. In addition to a proper level of medication, it’s also important for the diabetic—of any age—to have a monitored regimen of activity.

The benefits of physical mobility and movement are well documented for seniors, up to and including building muscle mass (using barbells and weights). Proper weight, healthy diet and a greater sex life all have their roots from the 45-minute cardio walk. But the diabetic gets an extra benefit: exercise is invisible insulin. Along with protein, fiber, and water, exercise helps keep blood sugar levels – well – level. And it does it at an alarmingly fast rate.

Get the senior walking and he or she will be more inclined to pay attention to other factors such as medication and dieting. The body knows what it needs. Walking exercises the the limbs, the joints, visual coordination, the heart, and the soul.

JJ learned to manage his medication, my son’s father-in-law would not. I’m convinced that JJ’s busy bee ways have limited the amount and severity of his episodes. As for me, I’ve learned how important it is to take a hike!