Category Archives: Safety

Protecting Your Parent From Falls

by Judy Starkweather

It took awhile to convince my mother that her walking was shaky enough to warrant a cane, but once we did, it worked out well. She selected a clear acrylic one that garnered lots of compliments.  She grew to like it not only for steadying her gate, but also as a conversation piece and fashion statement!

When mom’s falls became more frequent and she needed a walker, it was a much tougher sell.  It wasn’t until she went into Assisted Living and they required her to have one, that we actually made it happen. It was equipped with wheels, a seat she could sit on if she got tired and a basket below to hold items she might need during the day. We also purchased a “purse-like” cloth bag that hangs over the front of it for easy access to things like cough drops and kleenex. My sister and I felt good knowing that my mother could now get around more independently and eventually she learned to like her new “wheels.”

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Teach Your Parents Well

By Judy Starkweather

I was taking my 94-year-old Mom out one day and feeling stressed. My job and the caregiving were getting the best of me. When we arrived at our destination, I got out of the car, went around to get her and as always, reached over to unbuckle her seatbelt. In a moment of sheer frustration, I said “Gee Mom, you’d think a college graduate could learn to unbuckle her seatbelt!” We laughed a bit, but she knew my fuse was shortening by the second.

The next day, I decided to show her a way that I thought would make it easy to accomplish this task. I had to take into consideration the limited ability she had to turn her body enough to even see the buckle. To my amazement she exclaimed, “No one has ever shown me how to do that before!”

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When Seniors Move in with Relatives or Others

Take Steps Up Front to Prevent Disputes

This article was written by Kate White, Executive Director of Elder Law of Michigan. Although it addresses seniors and their families in Michigan, similar occurrences are taking place throughout the country.

The poor economy in Michigan is forcing many families to consider moving in together to save money and provide care for older adults. According to USA Today, US Census Bureau statistics released in September, 2008 reveal a significant rise in the number of parents who live with adult heads of households. From 2000 to 2007 the number of senior parents living with their adult kids rose from 2.2 to 3.6 million—an increase of 67%.

In some situations, senior parents move in with their adult children, in others the arrangement is reversed. Occasionally seniors share a home with other relatives such as nephews or grandkids. And sometimes seniors move in with other seniors, or even non-related younger persons.

While there is often great benefit in having others live with a senior, especially if the others can act as caregivers, disputes can arise even in the best of circumstances. Here are some things to discuss and place in writing before moving-in day.

  • An emerging practice is to use a paid professional mediator or a community dispute resolution center to discuss expectations and record what is agreed upon before making an arrangement to live together.
  • Discuss the house rules and the expectations of the owner about visitors, noise, standard of cleanliness, use of drugs and alcohol, privacy, use of space, and the use of furniture, cars and other items. Clearly define the acceptable and unacceptable and set a process for discussing new issues.
  • If there is an expectation of service for the privilege of living in someone else’s home, the details of the trade need to be clearly laid out. This can be a very important for preserving the self esteem of the tenant and prevent misunderstandings by all involved.
  • Future claims. Sometimes when another person moves in with a senior, an expectation is created that the tenant will be able to stay in the home forever or that the homeowner will leave the home to the tenant when the owner dies. Avoid this misunderstanding by making it clear that the homeowner retains all ownership of the home. A later wish by the homeowner to give the home to the caregiver can be taken care of at any time.
  • Prevent isolation. Just because an older adult may now have someone in the home, social activities and contact with neighbors, friends and family remain important. Friends and family should regularly check in with the senior.
  • Finances. In addition to deciding and documenting who pays for what, it might be worth considering having someone outside the household provide money management or bill payment services if the senior needs help with those tasks. If the caregiver is chosen to handle the homeowner’s financial affairs, having a second set of eyes reviewing the bank records, checking accounts and expenses might be advisable.

While sharing a home can be a comforting solution for seniors, living with another person requires planning and preparation. For help with such planning, consider contacting the community mediation center nearest you. Call 800-8RESOLVE.

Persons in Michigan can call the Legal Hotline at (800) 347-5297, Monday through Thursday, 9-5 and set an appointment to have a lawyer call them back, usually the same day.

Help Seniors Avoid Scammers and False Advertising

Submitted by Carol Hetzler

The elderly are often targets for scammers looking to con someone out of their savings, and if the person has Alzheimer’s, dementia or another mentally-debilitating situation, they can make disastrous decisions that can severely impact their finances.

My mother, in a lonely state of mind after dad had Alzheimer’s, started playing the lottery through the mail.  At one point she received a phone call from Canada, claiming that she had won the lottery, but had to send $5,000.00 before the prize could be awarded.  She wrote a check to a person in a foreign country.  When I realized what she had done, I had the bank issue a stop-payment.  But my mother went to the bank on another day, withdrew funds from her account and had a cashier’s check issued to the same individual.  Once I discovered this, I had a police report filed, but the funds were lost and no fraud conviction was ever possible.

Another time, my mother received a check for $12,000, with a note indicating that she had won the lottery.  She took the check to the bank, and deposited it into her account.  Her elation ended the following day when the bank called to inform her that the check was not valid, so her account would be debited.  We obtained the check, and discovered it was merely an advertising gimmick, with small print along the edge saying, “Facsimile only.”  This print was far too small for someone who was 80 to read, and even I had difficulty reading it, as did the bank teller.

Scammers and false advertising are like diseases affecting the elderly—they can be just as dangerous financially as cancer is medically. Children and caregivers should take an active role in managing their aging parents’ finances, to make sure they are not taken advantage of.

When Your Parent Travels During the Holidays (Or Anytime)

Many people will be traveling this holiday season to see parents who live in other cities or states. But in some cases, it is the parent who will do the traveling, sometimes alone. Even for seniors who are in good health, traveling can be extremely difficult, as the confusion and crowding found in many large airports, train stations and other transportation centers is enough to stress out anyone, not just seniors.

As an example, my mother, who turned 80 this past year, flew from Florida to Chicago to be with my sister and her family for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, due to work schedules, no one in the family was available to pick her up when the flight landed. This posed a problem, since we didn’t want to have my mother waiting several hours at the airport, where she would be a potential target for criminals and other undesirables.

My sister arranged for a taxi service to transport Mom from O’Hare to their home. The trip was pre-paid, tip included, and all Mom needed to do when she arrived was call the company’s number to send for a driver, who arrived in about ten minutes. This was good, but next time we’ll opt for a limo service, where the driver meets the passenger as soon as s/he reaches the baggage area. Limo drivers not only have those little signs with the passenger’s name to identify themselves, they also carry the passenger’s bags. Many limo and taxi services have web sites where you can book the trip in advance.

Of course, limos are more expensive, and not everyone can afford that level of service. In that case, there are some measures adult children can take to help ensure their parent’s safe transport.

  • Provide your parent with details about the airport/station s/he will be arriving at, such as: how to get from the gate to the baggage area; what landmarks or signs can be found along the way; how to negotiate the airport shuttle system if necessary. Much of this information should be available on the airport/station web site.
  • Airlines can often be helpful in assisting and directing seniors through an airport. A call to the airline’s customer service can arrange for someone to assist your parent from the check in to the gate, or vice-versa. Your parent can also ask for help at the ticket counter, or when s/he arrives to get from the gate to the baggage area.
  • Although my Mom has no difficulty walking, she often asks for a ride on an electric cart because the trip to or from the gates can be crowded and confusing. Seniors should not feel embarrassed about asking for help, even if they are physically able to make the trip.
  • If you can’t pick your parent up, arrange for transportation ahead of time, even if it is just a friend with a car. Make sure your parent has all the details s/he needs to reach and recognize the transportation provider.

Senior Care Stories is interested in hearing about your parents’ experiences while traveling, especially if you have any helpful tips on how to make traveling alone less dangerous and stressful. Please leave your comments by clicking on the link under the title of this post.

Many Options Allow You to Customize Wheelchairs for Parents

By Susan Melanie Levy

There are many devices designed to aid seniors physically, and of course many of these come in various levels of quality. During the seven years I helped care for my mother I learned just how important the differences can be.

My mother suffered from a form of polio when she was a child, and when she became older she had a great deal of trouble with her legs. Doctors prefer for people to try to stay on their feet as long as possible, so mom progressed from walking to the use of a cane, to a walker, but finally, after two falls, she needed a wheelchair.

When it came to selecting a wheelchair we were amazed at the level of options available. Mom first visited the Shepherd Spinal Center in Atlanta, where the technicians tested and measured her. Then they customized the wheelchair she would receive to make it as functional as possible, and give her freedom to move around. Although it took a couple of months to have the chair built, it was worth the wait. When the chair was delivered the techs also provided training so we both understood its uses and functions.

Her chair had a tilt that could be employed to take pressure off her spine. It also was designed to go anywhere in her facility, including the beauty shop, and it adjusted to the stylists’ height, so mother didn’t even have to switch chairs. It was a great help to her during some difficult times.

If your parent needs special equipment to support their physical needs, it’s definitely worth it to check out all the options available, so your mom or dad still has as much freedom as possible.

Solving a Travel Dilemma for Your Aging Parent

By Lisa Cochrane

I recently was told about a creative solution that a friend used when his aging mother could no longer drive. George’s mother lived in an assisted-living facility and she loved the independence and freedom that came with driving herself to doctor appointments and on errands. But George was worried, as he could tell her eyesight and reflexes weren’t what they used to be. When she had a small accident, he was finally able to convince her to give up her keys.

George then decided to sell her car and put the money into an interest-bearing account. He contracted with a local cab company to have a taxi available for his mom whenever she needed it, and instead of billing her, they sent an itemized statement every month to George (including a 20% gratuity). The cab company agreed to use only three drivers so his mom could get to know them. The drivers also agreed to carry her packages and groceries to the door and wait for up to a half hour at her destination.

It was a perfect solution to what could have been a difficult problem. George’s mom still had the freedom to go when and where she wanted and George didn’t worry nor need to take time off work to get her to doctor appointments. His mom even became the hit of the assisted-living facility — especially after she started inviting others to join her on her trips to the local department stores, the grocery and even the theater. Having a taxi available allowed them to venture out to more evening events and dinners.

The money in the interest-bearing account and the savings from not paying for car insurance, gas and upkeep paid for all the taxi rides. His creative solution also kept his mother safe and actually gave her a different kind of freedom — she could now bring along new friends and they could enjoy themselves without the worry of driving home!

Keeping Mom in Her Home

One of our readers submitted a guest column for those trying to handle the many tasks involved in caring for aging parents.  Names have been withheld by request.

One of the hardest moments a family may have to face  when their parents get old, is telling them it’s time to move out of their home. That day might come for us, but for now, thanks to the support of her children and modern technology, we’ve been able to avoid it.

My mom has always been able to manage the two-story home plus basement, she has lived in for many years. But as she gets older, her spinal stenosis (a condition in which areas of the spinal cord narrow down, causing pressure on the cord and the adjacent nerves) is making it difficult for her to walk up and down stairs. This condition is exacerbated by problems with her heart.  We heard that in cases like this it’s helpful to install a stair chair or stair glide.  This is a device in which the person sits in a chair that glides up and down along a metal rail attached to the stairwell wall, thus providing comfort as well as safety.

Our preference was to install 2 stair chairs, one to the basement where the laundry and food pantry are located, and the other up to the second floor where bedrooms are located.  We got lots of resistance but after a hard sell on our part, Mom relented, at least partially.  She conceded to one stair chair from the first floor to the basement.  Thankfully, she liked it.  It allowed her to continue her normal daily routine.  But she was adamant that we not install one from the first to second floor.

After she fell in the kitchen one day, we decided it was time to take the next step to insure her safety, as well as her quality of life.  Again, the stair chair to the second floor was strongly resisted.  Her fear? That it would detract from the look of her beautiful home for visitors who came in through the front door.  Her underlying reason, we suspected, was that the installation of this second chair was one more unwelcome indicator of age and dependency.  Again we met her resistance with respect and common sense.  Her ability to stay in her home has to come with some accommodations.  Mom’s health and safety are simply too important.  Our family made the decision and purchased the second stair chair over her objections.

To be honest, the day it was installed I was nervous about going to my mother’s house. But  when I got there I found out that she’d already used the lift three times! And because it was so helpful to her, she began to think that it was not that bad-looking after all.  But best of all, it has paved the way for any future amendments to the home as her needs evolve.  Next time may not be so hard.

Note: Stair chairs usually cost two thousand dollars or more to purchase and install. Some do come with color coordinated rails instead of chrome, to match the décor of the home, but this detail can add several hundred to more than a thousand dollars more to the price. In most cases these devices are not covered by insurance or the government. For more information, do an internet search using the key words “stair chair,” “stair guide” or “stair lift.”